Values
In this post, we discuss how ACT defines "values" and why they matter so much. Many of the ideas expressed here are drawn from Stephen Hayes' book Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Russ Harris' book ACT Made Simple, which are two of the best resources on ACT. Values are a foundational concept because they are the starting point from which everything else follows. Knowing our values gives our lives direction, and acting in line with our values gives our lives meaning. Values are like a compass, showing us the current heading of our lives relative to our desired direction. When we have done the work of clarifying our values, we always know when life is on course and when it's veering off course. It's like the adage, "if you don't know where you're going, you'll never know when you get there." Values point us to where we're going, both in therapy, and in life in general.
What exactly are values? The term can seem vague and hard to pin down. Colloquially, a value is a belief about what is important, good, or desirable. Values go beyond mere preferences—they seem to resonate on a deeper level, and tend to change less than preferences over time. Oftentimes, values help us make complex decisions, such as who we choose as a partner or how to raise our children.
The ACT definition of a value differs somewhat from how the term is used colloquially. In ACT, values take on a more active form than "beliefs". They are ways of living life that provide inherent meaning or satisfaction. It is important to highlight that values are not goals, although the two are often confused. Think about values as adverbial phrases, such as "moving your body regularly" or "eating healthfully". The benefit of phrasing values as adverbs instead of as goals is that it grants them immediacy, turning them into actions that we can perform right now, instead of things we have to wait to start doing until some future condition is met. For example, many people have a goal of "getting physically fit", which is necessarily future looking—you cannot become fit right at this moment. In contrast, framed as an adverb, all it takes to start acting in line with the value of "moving the body regularly" is to get up and move. I can't emphasize how important this shift is. So much suffering is created by a mismatch between how people wish life could be and how it actually is in the present moment—when what you want appears to be inaccessible to you right now, it's natural to feel despondent. Values, stated as adverbs, bridge this gap, making satisfaction available to you immediately and transforming the present moment into something workable instead of a problem that needs solving.
Values have other important characteristics as well. We don't have a particular value for any specific reason that we can identify. In other words, we don't need to be able to explain or defend why a value is a value to us. It simply is. At the same time, values are freely chosen, not dictated to us by other people. So many of the "values" that we take to be our own are actually beliefs that were instilled in us by our families or by society at large. To be clear, there's nothing wrong with intentionally adopting a value that is held by one's family or community. However, when we adopt so called values from others without questioning whether they truly resonate on a personal level, acting in line with these "values" is unlikely to produce inherent satisfaction. This is how we can tell if a value has been freely chosen, even if we can't explain why it's a value in the first place—the true test is whether acting in line with that value provides a feeling of satisfaction and meaning.
Finally, values are not contingencies. A "contingency" is an ACT term for an "if this, then that" relationship. If I eat food when I'm hungry, then eating is a contingency based on the feeling of hunger. Many of our day-to-day actions are contingencies, but a life that consists solely of contingencies is profoundly dissatisfying. It is a life that is spent being pulled about on a leash that is controlled by forces outside of us like technology, societal norms, or our biological urges. It is a life that just happens, instead of one that we intentionally construct. If we act in line with our values only when we "feel like it", values are reduced to simple contingencies and lose their power. In contrast, when we act in line with our values simply because they are our values and we've defined them to be important, values become a profoundly steadying force that keeps us balanced and purposeful, even in the face of difficult external circumstances. In fact, as stated in our second blog post, relating to our values in this (non-contingency) way is precisely what produces quality of life and gives life a sense of openness, richness, and meaning.
So how do you begin the lifelong process of identifying and refining your values over time? To get started, it's helpful to divide life into core domains, which allows you to create more specific value definitions. Domains include family, friendships, career, personal development, health, and spirituality, among others. For each of these domains, ask yourself "How would I like to be in this domain? How would I like to be in my friendships, in my career, in my family life, etc.?" This is a great prompt about which to journal, one core domain at a time. Remember to frame your answers as adverbs, not as goals. If you're still unsure about where to get started, thinking about existing goals within different domains can be helpful. For example, many people express the goal of "finding a partner" in the sphere of romantic relationships. Russ Harris describes an elegant way to transform these goals into value statements. Ask yourself, "If this goal were accomplished, what would it enable me to do?" For example, what would you be able to do if you did have a partner? The underlying value might be to be able to regularly express affection or to be thoughtful or caring towards another person. The good news is while you may not be able to find a partner right away, there are very likely opportunities within your life as currently constructed to express affection or thoughtfulness towards other people, and doing so will grant an immediate sense of fulfilment.
